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Healthy Hilton Head
© By Mike Keenan
"If I had Aladdin's lamp for only a day, I'd make a wish and here's what I'd say - nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina in the morning!"
I suggest that you obtain a prescription from your doctor directing you to vacation on Hilton Head Beach, South Carolina. There are good reasons. For example, the views: a middle-aged man and woman biking with golf putters inside their carriages, a fellow with two tennis rackets strapped to his back, people with muscular legs propelling rental bikes with fat tires, sun-worshippers in shorts, T-shirts, bathing suits and string
bikinis, some bronze, most white, one male whose back
is painted Larry Lobster red, the rays taking their toll on his lily-white flesh. (probably a Canadian) A pregnant lady blissfully packs sand into a child's plastic pail, creating sandcastles, unconsciously imprinting her
unborn baby to impromptu treasures of the beach, joggers
sporting earphones, groups of chatting strollers sporting bibs with numbers for an MS walkathon, a small child placing a plastic Captain Hook toy near the surging water, then prancing gleefully around it, spiral tire treads in the sand, waves tossing in gradually fading crescendos, splashing and
foaming along the shore, attractive (expensive) homes opposite the water, sporting wooden porches to maximize panoramic vistas, formations of pelicans looming near a fishing boat, gulls crying, skittish sandpipers with long bills probing the rich sand and a
radiant furnace above, gleaming its dazzling rays off of the beaming water. A fresh breeze emerges from the sparkling waves. This is surely an oasis to soothe both body and mind,
awaken dormant muscle and creative synapses.
An attentive elderly Pennsylvania couple notice me sitting and writing on a wooden bench anchored at Coligny Plaza opposite the public beach. "We're surprised how built up it is, yet how camouflaged the commercial areas are." Camouflage is an appropriate descriptor.
Unlike typical garish tourist streetscapes, commerce is tastefully set back with stringent zoning requirements in Hilton Head. The vibrant palmetto trees, shrubs and rich foliage make it difficult to view what lays behind manicured grass and road, with small, discerning signs the only outward signal of business interests lurking behind the mass of greenery. No neon, no garish billboards, no tackiness permitted. This is the genteel South. No pressure, hucksterism, glaring sound boxes or aggressive pitchmen enticing you to spend money. I'm
surprised cell phones are not prohibited on the beach. I encounter a gentleman (from the north) smoking a cheap cigar, an anachronism here, like the bizarre lady who twirls a hula hoop on the Letterman Show.
This is the land of shorts, sun screen, caps, hats, gated
communities with controlled access and guards, dated passes carefully placed on car windshields. There is public access to the beach at three areas.
At Coligny Circle, a roundabout forces me to pay close attention to yield signs. Here, there is a "Village" which includes shops that sell T-shirts and skimpy swimming attire as well as my favourite restaurant, Hinchey's, where we experience "Happy Hour" - as if we need the token declaration to make life more festive. There are many fine restaurants and expensive cars - Jaguars, Mercedes, BMWs, Lexus and assorted SUVs.
A low-slung convoy of three beagles pass by on the beach, bellies hugging the ground; on the sand, imprints of man, dog, birds - nature's intermittent blackboard, erased twice daily by compulsive tides pulled back and forth to celebrate the moon. I watch a great blue heron scoop a fish in two attempts - not a bad batting average in any league. This is an idyllic island not to be voted off.
Nomadic types, my spouse and I have vacationed here often, this time for a blissful week. We agree with Al Jolson's musical sentiments.
Mike Keenan writes for QMI Agency (Sun Media) Canada's largest newspaper publisher, printing 44 daily newspapers as well as a web portal, Canoe.ca. Besides regular columns for the St. Catharines Standard, Welland Tribune and Niagara Falls Review. Mike has been published in the Globe and Mail, Toronto Star, Buffalo Spree, Stitches, West of the City and Hamilton-Burlington's View Magazine. His work is found in QMI published dailies such as the Toronto Sun, Ottawa Sun, Vancouver Sun, London Free Press, Calgary Sun, Winnipeg Sun and Edmonton Sun.
Transportation, visas, health, maps and temperature
Airlines (Wikipedia): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_airlines
Embassies/Consulates (Embassy World): http://www.embassyworld.com/
Health precautions (WHO): http://www.who.int/ith/en/
Maps (Mapquest) U.S. & Canada: http://www.mapquest.com/maps/main.adp
Maps (Mapquest) World: http://www.mapquest.com/maps/main.adp?country=GB
Temperature (Temperature World): http://www.temperatureworld.com/
Some golf hazards are lethal in Hilton Head
© By Mike Keenan
Ancient seafarers tried to connect the stars into patterns of constellations to help guide their way. Similarly, whenever we travel, we enjoy an opportunity to explore mystery, experience depth. On home turf, we fail to notice the uniqueness of people and place. Travel is a welcome antidote, a prescription for renewal. I never fail to learn something - usually about myself.
For example, it's important to exercise. Hilton Head, South Carolina is shaped like a shoe and ideal for walking. Thus, I venture across the road from our rented condo to the Van Der Meer Tennis Resort, fiercely active this morning with
finely-dressed ladies in sportswear, eager to improve their skills. They respond enthusiastically to the drills, knocking soft-served balls back as best they can, some with hard returns, others floppy with only a few misses.
I head off from this diversion to encounter bikers, walkers, and joggers - with a cheery "good morning," but I need solitude today. On my right is a golf course. I glide to the cart path for some easy walking. This is the Shipyard Golf Club, a public, 27-hole course, beautifully laid out amidst idyllic homes backing on to manicured fairways, creeks and lagoons with peaceful charm.
The nine-hole sections are named Galleon, Brigantine and Clipper, suiting the overall nautical motif. I climb aboard
Brigantine and at a par 3, 380-yard tee area, I encounter Al, who, like me, ignored the sign that reads "golfers only during daylight hours." Unlike me, he dreamily soaks up the sun, lying prone and motionless just off the driving area, a turtle dozing beside him for token companionship. A foursome swiftly arrives in two electric carts. We observe Al, blissfully asleep. A lady golfer pulls out a camera and walks purposefully towards him.
"Don't get too close," her husband warns. "Those things move fast." Al is 12-feet long and would provide an ample number of belts and other accessories from his large amphibious hide, the second huge alligator I have spotted in the past three holes. I thought sand traps were hazardous enough! I walked the remaining fairways on heightened alert, code orange, advising oncoming golfers about the upcoming onerous par 3.
"Where I live in Florida, they take them out that big," drawls one golfer. "There are three more big ones on the back nine." I visualize the James Bond movie scene where our hero, stranded on a tiny island as gators move in for the kill, adroitly lines them up and athletically employs their firm bodies as steppingstones, literally walking across the water. Al doesn't appear as cooperative.
Later, I encounter two bare-footed young ladies, dressed in striking, purple gowns. This is an eclectic walk - tennis, golfers, alligators and two debutantes checking out the foliage. I warn them about Al.
"You mean, just over there, an alligator?" they ask, incredulous.
"About 12-feet long," I answer.
They pick up their gowns and run: finally, an appropriate reaction. Al is blessed with a lot of teeth, a wide flat snout and sunbathes on grassy banks to maintain a steady 89 degree body temperature. Incredibly, his slow digestion requires merely 1 pound of food per week. I reckon I would supply him with a wanton feast for half a year's daily nutrition. His only known antagonist was Steve Irwin, the wacky, too-brave Australian.
Apparently, if motivated, Alphonse is able to outrun humans for 50 yards. Did he notice my cane? The record length is 19 feet, 2 inches. Only bad things happen when golfers play through gators. One reason I gave up golf was my incredible slice. After my drive, invariably playing in and through constant rough, I would never see my foursome again as a unit until we arrived on the green. In Hilton Head with these somnambulant predators, they might never see me again, period.
Mike Keenan writes for QMI Agency (Sun Media) Canada's largest newspaper publisher, printing 44 daily newspapers as well as a web portal, Canoe.ca. Besides regular columns for the St. Catharines Standard, Welland Tribune and Niagara Falls Review. Mike has been published in the Globe and Mail, Toronto Star, Buffalo Spree, Stitches, West of the City and Hamilton-Burlington's View Magazine. His work is found in QMI published dailies such as the Toronto Sun, Ottawa Sun, Vancouver Sun, London Free Press, Calgary Sun, Winnipeg Sun and Edmonton Sun.
Photo Credits
Mike Keenan
If you go
Shipyard Golf Club:
http://www.shipyardgolfclub.net/
Van Der Meer Tennis:
http://www.vandermeertennis.com/virtual_tours.htm
Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hilton_Head,_South_Carolina
Wikitravel: http://wikitravel.org/en/Hilton_Head_Island_(South_Carolina)
What's happening, money, distance, time?
Media Guide: http://www.abyznewslinks.com/
Currency conversion: http://www.xe.com/ucc/
Distance calculator: http://www.indo.com/distance/
Time zone converter: http://www.timezoneconverter.com/
Transportation, visas, health, maps and temperature
Airlines (Wikipedia): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_airlines
Embassies/Consulates (Embassy World): http://www.embassyworld.com/
Health precautions (WHO): http://www.who.int/ith/en/
Maps (Mapquest) U.S. & Canada: http://www.mapquest.com/maps/main.adp
Maps (Mapquest) World: http://www.mapquest.com/maps/main.adp?country=GB
Temperature (Temperature World): http://www.temperatureworld.com/
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Surviving the Stars & Stripes!
© By Mike Keenan
In Hilton Head Island's Harbourtown, perched on top of the red-and-white lighthouse, I enjoy a panoramic view of the harbour, filled with luxurious, expensive yachts. One gargantuan, anchored in Calobougie Sound, appears too huge for the harbour. Exceptionally windy, it's difficult to remain outside on the platform. My skipper, Dave Lyle, sinewy with a relaxed air and a deep, resonant voice, thinks that the oversized yacht belongs to the upcoming MCI golf tournament. I wonder about our soon-to-be trip aboard Stars and Stripes, Dennis Connor's former entry in the famed America's Cup race for nautical millionaires.
It seems crazy to set sail in a hurricane-like wind as seventeen rookie "crew" board near the exit end of the harbour. The wind so powerful, when we edge from the slip, we are pushed immediately backwards hard towards the other immobile yachts. Thus began an ordeal for Lyle, desperately trying not to play bumper car with millions of dollars of boats. Anguished owners suddenly rush to protect their prized investments from our potentially crushing weight. Lyle frantically ties off ropes as he jumps on and off adjacent craft. Unfortunately, we are fixed perpendicular to the howling wind, impossible for us to turn. Insurance adjusters sharpen their pencils. Yacht owners pray. After 10 minutes of classic struggle with the elements, we've drifted completely to the rear of the harbour with no respite. Miraculously, a zodiac boat from Eco-Tours arrives to our rescue and tows us towards the harbour entrance. We now face the wind directly and are able to make some progress.
It's been a 12-minute battle merely to exit from the small, safe harbour. What's in store at sea? The wind whistles, suggesting we are mortal fools. Most passengers sit towards the front on top of floatable seat cushions that we are instructed to throw into the water if someone accidentally slips overboard, the idea being that there's a nice pattern to mark where I drowned. I hug fast to the stern rail, a very thin rope, the only impediment besides gravity to prevent my communion with the sea.
The mainsail is tied off a bit as a token precaution so as to not completely unfurl in this tornado. Up goes the jig and most of the mainsail. I now realize why a crew of ten is necessary for racing - to coordinate ropes, winches, sails, steering and prayer service, particularly in the high wind and seas of today. As we pitch at a 45 degree angle, I'm wedged beside two retired resident couples from Maine. "Don't write anything good about Hilton Head," they plead. They want it all for themselves.
I'm impressed with the machinery, a winch that two mates employ to raise and lower sails, the chrome double steering wheels and identical controls on port and starboard sides of the vessel. Once accustomed to the fury of the sea, the captain allows several passengers including
me to steer the boat. When we sail past Dafouskie Island, the wind picks up speed and so do we. It's so blustery today that Lyle wisely keeps us from the open sea.
As we take in sail upon return, I wonder how we will manage to revisit the slip, given the petulant wind and the small window of opportunity in which to dock. Nonetheless, the captain masterfully cuts Stars and Stripes like an accomplished, big-city, parallel parker, the Zodiac mercifully waiting just in case we need a slight nudge. Lyle is now my favourite captain from whom I would never mutiny. He adroitly responded to the pressure of safeguarding passengers and millions of dollars of boat. When I shake his hand, it's remarkably dry. If our team had the football on the goal line, needing to score on the last play of the game, I would want Dave Lyle to be the quarterback.
Stars and Stripes was purchased in 1996 from bankruptcy in Savannah Georgia. Over $3 million was spent in re-construction and maintenance; it's now worth $12 million. Dennis Conner sailed it twice - in 1983 as Spirit of America, and in 1987 as Stars and Stripes in preliminary races to qualify for the America's Cup. He then chose to sail the Liberty because of different seas but lost to the surprising Aussies. As for my yacht-racing future, after today, I no longer wish to emulate Mr. Connor, content to read Jules Verne, Joseph Conrad and Yann Martel from the safety of a dry couch, the only water required to be added to scotch.
Mike Keenan writes for QMI Agency (Sun Media) Canada's largest newspaper publisher, printing 44 daily newspapers as well as a web portal, Canoe.ca. Besides regular columns for the St. Catharines Standard, Welland Tribune and Niagara Falls Review. Mike has been published in the Globe and Mail, Toronto Star, Buffalo Spree, Stitches, West of the City and Hamilton-Burlington's View Magazine. His work is found in QMI published dailies such as the Toronto Sun, Ottawa Sun, Vancouver Sun, London Free Press, Calgary Sun, Winnipeg Sun and Edmonton Sun.
Photo Credits
Mike Keenan
If you go
Hilton Head Island Vacation and Visitor's Guide:
http://www.hiltonheadisland.org/vacation-visitors-guide/what-to-see-and-do/
Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hilton_Head,_South_Carolina
Wikitravel: http://wikitravel.org/en/Hilton_Head_Island_(South_Carolina)
What's happening, money, distance, time?
Media Guide: http://www.abyznewslinks.com/
Currency conversion: http://www.xe.com/ucc/
Distance calculator: http://www.indo.com/distance/
Time zone converter: http://www.timezoneconverter.com/
Transportation, visas, health, maps and temperature
Airlines (Wikipedia): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_airlines
Embassies/Consulates (Embassy World): http://www.embassyworld.com/
Health precautions (WHO): http://www.who.int/ith/en/
Google interactive map: http://maps.google.com/
Temperature (Temperature World): http://www.temperatureworld.com/
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