|
Advice from someone with lots of miles under his belt
© by Mike Keenan 
Retired people strongly believe in advice, if they are the principal agents who provide such advice. I can advise people all day long without getting unduly tired in the process. This is not the simplistic advice you get from road crews whereby one guy holds a "stop" sign and the other guy, a "go" sign. My advice spans multi categories that I'm reasonably comfortable with, with which I fashion my suggestions. I look upon this gift as a talent, and if we waste our talents here on earth what good are they to us in the great hereafter? As the Greek goddess, Nike, said, "Use it or lose it" or was that "Just do it?" Doesn't matter. It's the same thing.
The problem is that most people do not know how to provide advice, and if Marshall McLuhan was correct about the medium being the message, deaf ears are not inclined to act upon bon mots. I mix my rudimentary advice with foreign phrases giving it an international flavour. People take you far more seriously when you employ foreign phrases. Lawyers have been on to that for years. That's how they justify huge salaries. They throw around Latin terms such as mutatis mutandis, habeus corpus, and hic, hunc and hink, and then they charge outlandish sums because nobody knows what they are talking about. At University, young lawyers in training are taught a special course in Latin for Dummies. When they graduate, they are incapable of conducting a normal conversation without slipping in the words, nacho, pita, scampi and vino dolce, all of which they borrowed from restaurant menus. I belong to several list servers on the Internet and they invariably produce advice of one form or another. The latest was from a lady who wanted to know what should be in every woman's travel bag. Here is the list: 1) Open Mind 2) travel candle & matches for atmosphere in your tent/room/cabin/toilet. 3) sarong to use as a sheet, a wrap, or as...a sarong 4) Humour 5) Cipro - stop severe cases of gastro-intestinal distress 6) headlamp - easy night reading 7) universal sink stopper, twisty-stretchy clothesline. Use hotel shampoo to launder. 8) Love 9) two-colour theme (i.e. black & grey or white) so everything works with everything else in your carry-on bag. 10) scarves to brighten up those two-colour outfits. 11) costume jewelry to help make that aforementioned same black shirt look like a completely different outfit. 12) Empathy 13) compact nylon bag that zips into its own pocket, for any "extras" that need to come home. 14) Melatonin - avoid jet lag. 15) Compassion 16) old clothes if traveling in developing nations - donate as you go. 17) earplugs, eye mask and lavender oil. Drip lavender onto a tissue to line the pillow case - perfect sleep. 18) Equanimity. This is a compelling list, but, working backwards, I do not know how one can place numbers 18, 15, 12, 8, 4 and 1 in a travel bag. If I had an abundance of those items, I wouldn't need to travel. I would replace some of the suggestions with curiosity, adventure and lots of money. Lots of money can purchase most of the other items. For example, if I need equanimity, merely place $500 in the palm of my hand and I will amazingly compose myself. It might even spill over and make me a little more empathetic. $500 more and you will find me giddy, in love with life and opening my mind as well as my other palm. I'm not so sure about the bright scarves and costume jewelry. One might get mugged. In many parts of the world, you would be considered a prime target. A candle in the toilet will not improve the atmosphere for me. I think males look upon toilets more in a business-like fashion. Do not linger in or near toilets we were cautioned by our mothers. Nor should we be caught with lavender oil. That's my advice. |
