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Turning to the great thinkers to achieve positive vibes
Retired, eh? (Great thoughts & cynicism) One time rights © by Mike Keenan 
Reading the newspaper is often demoralizing. Sometimes, I escape the tragic world by simply turning to the sport's section, but that gets depressing too, especially for Leaf's and Jay's fans. So, I skip the sport's section and turn to the cartoons, but they are getting downbeat. Dilbert is enough to exasperate anyone in a work setting with other employees. Where does one find respite? You might try the horoscopes, but it's a crapshoot. Some days, you are advised to stay in bed.
I've decided to turn to the great thinkers to achieve positive vibes. Great thinkers sit around all day and make profound pronouncements like "what goes up, must come down," which sounds simple yet carries with it a depth of understanding that only stock brokers can appreciate. The smartest 20th century thinker was Albert Einstein so I pay close attention to what Al said. He invented the theory of relativity. I've read it several times, but can't figure it out. Also, I can not figure out how to put Ikea furniture together. Miriam thinks I'm spatially challenged. I found a quote from Al that's a lot easier to understand than his theory. He suggests, "Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value." Now, when I look at the Leafs and Jays and Raptors and Senators and other losing teams, I employ a totally different spin on their disgusting results. I look upon them for their value, not their success. What value? Well, comic relief for one. It's funny watching them try to compete with real teams. Their value and possibly ours is to provide passers-by with a good laugh for the day. And ironically, we become successful which leads to my next great thought. Confucius claims that "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do." Profound implications here for seniors. We can look upon falling in positive terms. Even great prize fighters get knocked down. So, when you fall, which happens regularly with me, appreciate it as yet another opportunity to prove Confucius right, which leads to my next great thought. Gautama Buddha was a philosopher, teacher, and religious leader. "Buddha" means "awakened one." He said that "The mind is everything; what you think, you become." This has caused me to plot an entirely new course. I thought that it was the role of aging seniors to become curmudgeons, to be cynical about everything, always see the worst in people. Miriam says I perform this role quite well. Now, I discover that if I think happy thoughts, according to the Buddha, I will become happy. I'm starting to think, gee wiz, good for the Leafs and Raptors and probably the Jays. Let them fall short and ease into an early season of golf where their biggest failure is to lose a golf ball or two in the rough. In fact, the concept of them in futile searches for lost golf balls makes me smirk a bit, but I have to be careful because I might turn cynical again. What about the ancient Greeks? Didn't they have any deep thinkers? Yes, indeed. Sophocles suggested that "The greatest grief's are those we cause ourselves." See, it's all about spin. It's probably good that Simcoe Grey's Helena Guergis was demoted by her boss, Stephen Harper. Now, she has much more time for her husband, Rahim Jaffer. For every crisis, there is opportunity. I don't remember who said that. Probably Bill Clinton. Bill said a lot of seemingly contradictory things like "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." I think that Bill and Helena both missed significant opportunities in their own respective ways and to explain what I mean, these important words from Marilyn Monroe can be employed by every faulty spouse in every marriage in the world: "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." Try that one on your friends and relatives, and remember, don't be cynical. |
