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Nude hiker gives Swiss viewers something to yodel about
© by Mike Keenan 
Last week a court in Switzerland upheld the appeal of a man who was fined for hiking. The hiking component wasn't the actual problem as the gentleman was wearing no hiking apparel. Completely nude, he strode about enjoying the scenery, but apparently others did not enjoy his exposed scenery. The court ruled that naked hiking did not amount to "indecent behaviour." In fact, public nudity is not a crime under Swiss Federal law. The prosecutor said the ruling should not be seen as giving blanket permission for people to walk about naked in the area.
Appenzell in Switzerland has become a popular destination for those who like to hike without the burden of wearing clothes, but many locals are unhappy about the trend and the canton passed a local bylaw allowing naked hikers to be fined. The nature buff was initially fined 100 Swiss francs ($90) when he was spotted hiking in full view of a communal barbecuing area and also near a Christian care home, whose residents were somewhat surprised by the spectacular view. It's bad enough at barbecues to view naked pieces of beef and sausage, I suppose; but live flesh waltzing by and whistling a happy tune; that's another issue. As for the care home, I've been in hospital wards where peek-a-boo clothing seems part of the program. Men really should learn how to fasten a neat bow in their gowns to prevent rear views of their skinny hind quarters. The 47-year-old defendant said that he had been hiking nude for two years and that most people were friendly towards him. I wonder what's appropriate to say w hen one encounters a nude hiker. I guess it really doesn't matter as long as you maintain eye contact. It might be fun though to blare out, "Hey, I know you; you're the guy who was in the movie, The Full Monty, aren't you?" The Full Monty was a 1997 British comedy film about six unemployed men, four of them former steel workers, who decide to form a male striptease act (à la Chippendale dancers) in order to earn money. Now, there's a brilliant idea for aging Niagara service club members, those who are simply tired of flipping pancakes and house & garden tours and such. Organize a bunch of your older members, preferably those who can dance, and set up a Rotary Full Monty Night! You will make a fortune. In fact, it might get highly competitive in short order. Newspaper ads will appear such as, "You thought the Rotary Full Monty was hot; you ain't seen nothing yet 'til you see the Kinsmen Hotties!" "Come see the Lions au natural tonight; it's far better than the zoo!" Back in Switzerland, the court lifted the fine, and local authorities will cover the court costs. Perhaps there will be a surge in hiking there now attracting nude hikers from all over the world. Astute tourism promoters in the southern United states where tourism has dropped 40 per cent recently thanks to BP, might catch on with innovative programs of their own such as naked shuffleboard, nude ping pong, bare volleyball, and other revealing activities. After all, climate change is a fact, isn't it, and this will be our ultimate strategy to deal with it. The thought of returning to an Eden-like lack of clothing might also benefit the fitness business. People will be much more likely to tone up their bodies. After all, who wants to be unfairly compared to younger, more vigorous types? Seniors, start performing your push-ups and sit-ups. Time to get the abs back to their rippling best. The clothing industry might suffer a temporary setback, but they deserve it. Have you ever sauntered through Victoria's Secret? Big secret, eh. To me, the real secret is how do you get people to pay so much to purchase and wear so little. As for the hiker in Switzerland, let's just hope that he doesn't get caught in a bramble bush or get set upon by ticks. There are a few benefits derived from clothes. |
