|
Our late friend Charles would have appreciated the irony
© by Mike Keenan 
My mind is discombobulated today (I know; what's new?) as a member of the men's' book club. One of our colleagues suffered a massive heart attack in his garden, and passed away suddenly leaving us all in a state of distress. Four NOTL members got together and made the trek to the Hammond Funeral Home in Thorold. As always, it's disconcerting to see someone you were talking to and enjoying their company, suddenly horizontal lying inside a wooden box. Death is an issue that we all face and those in advanced age, aka seniors, are likely to face it increasing more often as the years fly by.
Charles was a large man with a huge sense of humour. He was a retired pilot for the St. Lawrence Seaway, the guy who would take over command of the ship, and he certainly had the stature to do it. We will miss his frankness. He would often comment, when it came his turn, that he wouldn't be reading "any of these books" if not for being in the men's book club. His assessments were terse and often he would just shake his head, body language adequately conveying his opinion. How to celebrate Charles? We decided to have a pint and at the foot of the Thorold hill as recompense from the funeral home. The Keg's bar was unfortunately closed until 4 p.m. bringing back memories of Ontario's deplorable drinking rules a few years back when there were separate beverage rooms for men and mixed couples. It was only 3 p.m. so we decided to drive back to NOTL and share a pint at the Charles Inn. We thought that our friend Charles would appreciate the irony. The vuvuzela has also troubled me lately. It's that annoying stadium horn played monotonously during the FIFA games in South Africa. At first, I thought something was wrong with the TV. "Do you hear a swarm of bees?" I asked Miriam? "Turn off the TV and let's listen," she suggested. I did and the bees disappeared, but they soon returned. The locals use a 65 cm plastic blowing horn to produce a distinctive loud monotone which makes one question his or her hearing mechanisms otherwise known as ears. See, I can't even think or talk straight when subjected to these things. Anyway, they are controversial because some link hearing loss to them. Miriam reminded me that we should accept the South African culture. I turned the game off but I do have a thought on how the vuvuzela could be assimilated into our culture. Every citizen should be equipped with a plastic vuvuzela which we would carry around with us during the day, and each time that we heard a public official speaking nonsense, we would blow into the sound-making mechanism such that we would sound like a swarm of nasty hornets. We need to spend a bazillion dollars to build an artificial lake in downtown Toronto to allow journalists to appreciate our cottage country. Time to blow heartily into your vuvuzela. We need to spend another bazillion dollars all over Tony Clement's riding to support the G8. Blow lustily friends on your vuvuzela. In NOTL as in other municipalities, there are plenty of reasons to sound the vuvuzela. For instance, the town hired a new CEO from the Waterloo area and he quickly disappeared. Nobody even asked why let alone blew a vuvuzela. What's up? Now we have another CEO just hired who has found a home in Virgil. It's good that he could afford to live in Virgil because the town's library board says they couldn't find a suitable person for the librarian position because nobody in Ontario can afford to live in Niagara on the Lake so they hired someone from their own board who had the good grace to quit the board just before he accepted the position. Charles would be amused by all this. The rest of us could blow our vuvuzelas. Mike Keenan can be reached at his website: www.whattravelwriterssay.com |
