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Service stations?
© by Mike Keenan 
Some of you seniors might be in for a surprise this year as I was recently when it came time to renew my license, my automobile license that is, not my license for fishing or hunting or flying or anything else that the government can and will tax you for, so as to help pay for all of that cash that they wasted on the G8 & G20 building artificial lakes and gazebos made of gold.
A problem ensued when I left the renewal to the bitter end as I am wont to do with most things, including submitting these articles to my long-suffering editor. To my chagrin, it was the year that I had to get my vehicle tested through the Drive Clean Program. The car we are talking about is a '99 Toyota Camry, a car that I have virtually bonded with for 11 years, more years than a lot of marriages last. My Camry has been as loyal and faithful as any machine can be and has delivered me everywhere that I wanted to go. It is the smoothest riding car that I have ever driven, and, believe me, I have driven a lot of cars. You might sense an attachment on my part. Each time that I previously took my Camry in to be tested, it passed with flying colours. I dropped it off at the service station and decided to wait there and immediately drive over to the license building so as to donate more cash to the aforementioned government who apparently do not rake in enough through lotteries and casinos and all other schemes imaginable. The attendant appeared an hour later with a sour face. My Camry had failed. It had passed everything but the nitrous oxide emission component. It passed the carbon monoxide test. Wasn't that enough? This is where things went awry. I phoned Toyota in St. Catharines and asked them if they could do the follow up test. They said yes but when I brought the car in, they said someone had made a mistake. I would have to drive to Hamilton. They phoned Hamilton and Hamilton assured us they could do the test. I booked a test for early next morning. I drove from NOTL to Hamilton illegally, without a license, wondering when I would be stopped by the fuzz. The fuzz didn't stop me. I got there and they proceeded to do the test. When finished, they said to take the car back to the original tester, get re-tested, fail again and that I would get a form saying that I could get a license despite failing the nitrous oxide part because I had been tested twice. I admire the torturous way that the government is into extra tests doomed to failure along with the trickle-down effect for all participating service stations. When I took the car back to the original tester, they said that Hamilton didn't supply the right forms and obviously were not equipped to perform the test. At this point, I seriously considered murder or suicide. I phoned the service manager in Hamilton. He apologized and said he would give me a rebate on my Visa card. A month later, the Visa bill arrived, and you guessed it, no rebate. I phoned again and the manager said he would do it himself. Oh, in the interim, while driving without a license for at least a week, I was told by the original tester that I should have gone to Canadian Tire for the retest. I did and failed again but this time, got the sacred government forms for yet another test and yet another failure, but a note giving me permission to get a non-compliant license. Fortunately, I'm retired and can waste my time and money because us retired folk have nothing better to do. You have been warned! |
